Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

I've said for years that I'm going to marry Snoop one day. I don't know what it is about him... his smooth voice, the fact that he's tall and gangly, he's loaded... haha. I could see us together. ohhh yeah.

That, or Paul Stanley.

I've been in love with him since I was a little girl. My dad listened to KISS religiously, so I learned who he was at a very young age. (which is for the best, considering I was named after one of their songs..) I remember being at my Dad's house with my little pink pad of paper and writing love letters to Paul every day and putting them in the mail-box. Mind you, I was very young, so I don't even know if there were actual words on these papers, or just scribbles. But every day I would write him letters that were supposed to say:

"Dear Paul,
I love you so much. I want to marry you.
Love, Shandi."
Needless to say, if that actually is what they said rather than just scribbles, I hope the mailman was happy every day when he opened the mailbox to find them.
...And I hope his name wasn't Paul.
But seriously, after seeing them this fall... I'm convinced that we need to be together. He may be old. And ugly as fuh under the make-up (which he'll just have to leave on once our relationship develops) But, I'm in love. And I want to have his children.


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Ugh.. but really, I'm still not sure I even WANT to get married. haha. If it were up to pretty much everyone else in my life right now it would be this guy:

Not that there would really be any sort of issue with that... other than the fact that it'd be WEIRD!
ha.
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In other news.. Day 4 of no smoking is turning out to be a great success! Which is wonderful for me because I was on the verge of quitting quitting.
Quick breakdown of how it's been:
Day 1- No biggie during the day, started freaking out in the evening. Hookah'd to hold myself over. Didn't get much sleep because it felt like my chest was being crushed. It felt like I couldn't breathe. Lots of tossing and turning.
Day 2- Again, not too bad during the day. Although I kept feeling like I might have a panic attack throughout the day, lots of deep breathing and avoiding conversation. That night was even worse than the first night. I was able to fall right to sleep given the fact that I'd hardly slept the night before, but woke up numerous times feeling like I was dying. After the fourth time of waking up that way, I just laid there for a bit and tried to calm down before I attempted sleep again, and started crying. Not big time bawl my eyes out, just a few minutes of tears and a sniffle. Matt heard me snifflin' and rolled over and saw me crying, so he snuggled up and kissed me on the head and kept telling me it was okay until I went back to sleep. (awwwwh.. haha)
Day 3-s Spent most of it catching up on sleep. Went to work at the call center, and even stood outside with Hailey on our break. Had a moment of weakness and asked for just a drag, but then took a step back and said NO. But being around it was strangely calming, even though I didn't have any. A bit of anxiety last night when getting ready for bed. But slept like a baby.
Day 4- Woke up with a ton of energy! Went to work, but due to some confusion amongst upper management, was sent home after about an hour. Which was okay with me. I went grocery shopping for some healthy food. Came home and discovered that quitting smoking may have turned me into a bit of a crackhead. I had already planned on cleaning the bathroom when I got home today, but ended up completely cleaning out the fridge (wiping everything down while I was at it) as I put the groceries away. I had bought some Drano for our shower drain, put that in first so it could sit the allotted time while I cleaned the rest of the bathroom. Ended up cleaning out the bathroom drawers (wiping THOSE out also) and under the sink. Wiped down the baseboards. Spent about an hour just cleaning the shower. (We have a stand-up shower, and it drives me nuts how it just never seems to be clean even after I clean the bathroom) And it's now so clean it would make even my mother proud! Scrubbed the toilet. Swept and mopped the bathroom and kitchen floors. AND vacuumed the rest of the house.
..now I just need to find the motivation to tackle my room. HA! I don't know what it is, but I can be totally pumped about cleaning, and then I look at my room and I'm like "eff that... not today."


Also, I freakin' love Diet Dr. Pepper.

I used to drink it every morning during my class in the summer... and then decided to knock it right off. I rarely drink soda, so I was annoyed with myself for starting up an everyday sort of thing. However, given I'm getting rid of one terribly nasty habit, what's the harm in allowing a little guilty pleasure for a bit. I bought a few while grocery shopping, and I'm in Heaven. :)

I think I'm done now. Hope everyone is having a great week so far! And thank you so much for your support! It really means a lot!